How one man became a trucker - military funny
A man pulls up to an extended red light and a van pulls up next to him. The van has 4 angry young men in it shouting anti-American slogans and death to America out the windows. They also have a 1/2 burned flag waving from the back. The man thinks about pulling out as he is getting angered by the punks but then thinks better of running a red light. The punks not getting the response they wanted from the man decide to pull away while the light is still red and are immediately hit by a transport tractor trailer killing all 4 of them. The man stares in stunned disbelief and thinks "My God, that could have been me." The next day he upgraded his licence and started driving truck.
The Final Inspection - military funny
The soldier stood and faced his God Which must always come to pass He hoped his shoes were shining Just as brightly as his brass "Step foward now you soldier, How shall I deal with you? Have you always turned the other cheek, And to my church have you been true?" The soldier squared his shoulders and said, "No Lord, I guess I ain't, Because those of us who carry guns, Can't always be saints. "I've had to work most Sundays And at times my talk was tough And sometimes I've been violent Because the streets were awfully rough" But I never took a penny, That was'nt mine to keep Though I worked a lot of overtime When the bills just got to steep, And I never passed a cry for help Although, at times I shook with fear And sometimes, God forgive I've wept unmanly tears I know I don't deserve a place Among the people here That never wanted me around Except to calm there fears If you have a place for me here O' Lord It needn't be so grand I've never expected, or had so much But if you don't I'll understand" There was a silence all around the throne Where the Saints had often trod As this soldier waited quietly For the judgment from his God "Step foward now you soldier, You've borne your burdens well Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets, You've done your time in Hell"
Friday Guns and Gals - military funny
Truth - military funny
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